Gratitude in leadership isn’t only expressed through praise. Sometimes, it shows up in how leaders speak under pressure and how they treat people when results are on the line.
“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”
— William James
Early in my career, I was part of an inside sales team that was doing everything right. We were growing fast, hitting aggressive goals, and building serious momentum. On paper, it looked like a dream environment.
Behind the scenes, something shifted.
One manager became so focused on margins and output that people stopped being people. During a meeting, he said something that still echoes years later:
“A trained monkey could do what you do.”
I didn’t walk out that day. But not long after, I quietly marked my five-year anniversary by updating my résumé.
What I didn’t understand at the time was how deeply that environment was affecting me.
Stress lingers when respect disappears
Even after I left, the stress followed me. It showed up in my sleep. In my body. In the constant sense of being on edge. It took nearly two years for that tension to finally release.
That experience taught me something important about leadership and stress. Stress doesn’t only come from workload. It comes from how people are treated while doing the work.
When appreciation is absent and dignity is stripped away, the body keeps score.
A different kind of leadership makes a difference
Years later, I worked in the welding industry under a leader named Dale. He was sharp, direct, and didn’t sugarcoat feedback. I respected that.
Then he made a decision I strongly disagreed with. He wanted to add someone new to my territory, convinced we could double results. To him, it was strategy. To me, it felt like he was dismantling something I had built from the ground up.
I told him plainly that I thought he was wrong. The conversation got heated. And yes, I updated my résumé again.
The difference this time was how the disagreement was handled.
Dale didn’t agree with me, but he listened. I could speak honestly without fear of being diminished. And when I eventually left for a bigger opportunity with better pay and full benefits, he didn’t guilt me or question my loyalty. He was proud of me.
Interestingly enough, he never did find someone to fill that role. It turns out the work mattered deeply to me, and that showed.
We challenged each other. We disagreed. And we stayed close. To this day, he’s still one of my favorite people.
Gratitude in leadership is often about what’s not said
These two experiences shaped how I think about gratitude in leadership.
Gratitude isn’t just thank-you notes or public recognition. It’s conveyed through respect, tone, and the freedom to speak without fear. It’s the difference between stress that erodes people and tension that strengthens them.
Research on workplace gratitude consistently shows that environments rooted in respect and appreciation reduce burnout and improve retention. When people feel valued, even difficult work becomes sustainable.
For a broader look at how gratitude affects stress, health, and behavior, this overview of scientific facts about gratitude is a helpful resource.
This is also why gratitude in leadership works best when it’s treated as a system, not a personality trait, as outlined in the Six Gears of Grategy framework.
Culture is built in the small moments
Culture isn’t defined by mission statements or polished onboarding decks. It’s shaped in offhand comments. In how leaders talk when frustrated. In whether people feel safe to disagree.
Those moments either build trust or quietly push people out the door.
During Mental Health Awareness Month, it’s worth asking a simple but uncomfortable question:
What kind of culture are your people carrying home at the end of the day?
Have fun,
Lisa
P.S. Culture doesn’t fix itself in Q4. It’s built, or broken, every day. If your team is running on fumes, let’s talk. Whether it’s a keynote, workshop, or tactical session, I’ve got tools to help leaders rebuild momentum without burning people out.
